Being a Pagan Resource for Teen Seekers
Sep. 2nd, 2004 06:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunflowerpMany Pagans began their spiritual quests in their teens - yet the standard community attitude about teen seekers has for years been, "Too risky, let's not go there at all - besides, they're probably too young to be serious about it." Some of those who voice this attitude are those who came to Paganism later, and as teens were uninterested in spiritual matters; they measure teens by the standard of themselves as teens. Some figure, "I had to fumble through it with no guidance, so why shouldn't they?" Many envision hostility and lawsuits as the inevitable result of any interaction with teens. The supposition is that the kids can wait until they're old enough.
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
Morals, Dogma... and Thoughts
Date: 2004-09-08 07:50 am (UTC)Can't believe I'm only thinking about this now-- Has anyone given any thought to the idea that not all the people we might end up trying to provide with guidance are going to be 'kids?' I mean, I was in as much trouble in my dark times as any 'wayward teen' (probably more than most)... except I was 24 years old... and I'm sure there are others who begin to come to consciousness even later in life who struggle with it a lot more than I did.
Anybody thought about how we're going to deal with THAT?
Fair Warning: Next I'm going to say the C-word in a favorable light.
Christianity in many ways really DOES seem to do a pretty good job of reaching out to young people... and there are a lot of Christian teens who are happy with their faith for more than just the Rapture trip. I'm not talking about the "Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Savior" schtick (the Rapture trip, in other words)... I'm talking about fellowship and ministry, real spiritual support. Maybe we ought to stick the labels game on a shelf for awhile and take a look at what they're doing that's working... and what's not. Learn from their successes and mistakes.
I've been trying this approach with working on dealing with spiritual abuse... something else the Pagan community seems sadly mostly silent on... and having at least limited success.
Yeah I realize that as religions go we're as different as night and day... but it would take a Pagan to remind us that night and day are parts of the same whole, wouldn't it?
I'm interested in finding anyone willing to help me with this endeavor... I think it would be way to massive for me to handle alone.
Oh, and... Checked out wickedwiccan.com... Kinda scared the hell out of me. I remember someone else who talked about personal power in the same way... he was a creep. Make that plural.
Yeeeccchhh.
But that's not the point... it's not our place to tell people to avoid places like this, or to tell seekers that people like this are bad people. It seems to me that odds are they're creeps... unsavory if not necessarily abusive... but the point is that it's not our job to make that judgement call and would not be even if we had a way to be sure.
We're not a parental control... and I don't think the concept of "in loco parentis" should be extended to trying to tell anyone what path they can and cannot (or even should and should not) walk. I think part of the reason I chose wisely is that I was apprised of the possible consequences and given the choice.
It shouldn't be our job to prevent kids from listening to stuff like wickedwiccan.com... or worse. The only thing I think we can justifiably try to actively steer anyone away from is something that pretty clearly appears to be openly (or at least actively) abusive.
We need to make sure things like this are mitigated, not ignored or silenced...
... Once again, I stress that it seems what is needed of us is to try to be guides, not arbiters or handers-down of Traditions. 'Course as a Solitary I couldn't do that anyway so my opinion might be biased in favor of giving myself more work to do...
Be blessed.
--Ani
littleani7@hotmail.com
Re: Morals, Dogma... and Thoughts
Date: 2004-09-11 10:48 am (UTC)I have read with increasing interest the posts previous to this and agree wholeheartedly that some sort of outreach should be undertaken, and that teens alone should not be the sole focus. I also came into this way late in life, after years of being a very poor Southern Baptist.
You are completely correct in your assesment of christian groups success in reaching out and supporting the young years and spirit. I think that it due to their almost universal drive to "bring in the sheaves" (wonder where they got that phrase) that cross denominational lines. And from my viewpoint, therein lies the rub. I'm sure that we both know various pagan groups that consider themselves the one, true way and that all the rest of us are trudging through the darkness to find them. This sort of smug divisiveness is what kept me solitary so long.
Having said that (and please pardon my rant) I myself would really enjoy and support any effort to reach out other pagans searchers and I would be pleased and no doubt blessed to help in any way that I can.
I fear that it would turn out to be thee, me and he but what the hell challenge only spices life, eh?
Again, any way I could be of help will be cheerfully (well, maybe small grumbles) rendered, just let me know how.
Bleesed be to you and yours
Myyridon Glynwld