Being a Pagan Resource for Teen Seekers
Sep. 2nd, 2004 06:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunflowerpMany Pagans began their spiritual quests in their teens - yet the standard community attitude about teen seekers has for years been, "Too risky, let's not go there at all - besides, they're probably too young to be serious about it." Some of those who voice this attitude are those who came to Paganism later, and as teens were uninterested in spiritual matters; they measure teens by the standard of themselves as teens. Some figure, "I had to fumble through it with no guidance, so why shouldn't they?" Many envision hostility and lawsuits as the inevitable result of any interaction with teens. The supposition is that the kids can wait until they're old enough.
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
From a Teen
Date: 2004-09-03 11:15 pm (UTC)The tragedy of those two girls' suicide has really woken a lot of us to the realities of adolescence today; there is so much hostility, isolation and pressure that the psychological and emotional need to fulfill oneself and one's innate curiosity can often lead to thoughtless and overbearing choices. I am a teen and I am Pagan. I did not choose this spirituality, but rather I acknowledge and embrace it as the essence of who I am. I know many other teens who also feel this way, and many whose own experience and wisdom surpasses the insistence of authority provoked by adulthood.
I am also actively involved in supporting the Youth and run a local group in my city that caters for uniting our strengths as teens and providing a friendly and open environment in which to foster the growth and awareness of Young Pagans. I think we need to open this concept up to a global scale; provide a place of warmth and peace that allows teens a safehaven to discuss issues relating to spirituality with others of open mind. Often groups created and facilitated by adults appear overwhelming and confronting, the gap in age often causes teens to reconsider and retreat. The Pagan community has yet to truly embrace the surge of interest in nature-based traditions in the Youth. There have been books published and sites created, but often these have been light-hearted attempts. We need to sieze this issue in political fervour, allow teens to grow within themselves, to discover the power that is innate and coursing through their very veins.
What are everyone elses' thoughts? Could we, as a group united by our reverence of the Old Gods and the Old Lore despite the differences in age, create a home that upholds the principles of friendship, learning, growth, honour and community?
Namaste, Gede...
Re: From a Teen
Date: 2004-09-08 07:33 am (UTC)"Often groups created and facilitated by adults appear overwhelming and confronting, the gap in age often causes teens to reconsider and retreat."
Yeah, OK, I can agree with this statement... I remember being afraid to tell ANYONE what I was thinking because as a Solitary facing some strange experiences I feared disbelief, judgement, and condemnation (or mockery... they're not that far apart).
I don't know what TO do about it... there's a certain amount of feeling judged inherent in teaching even for the best student... because even a good teacher is still a judge in a way, just not a harsh or cruel one.
Maybe there's a better way to put this... teaching often comes down to making a judgement call.
One could also say that it's about teaching a little judgement... a lot of the really scary things (suicides, for example, assuming a Western view that says we shouldn't just let it happen) in some ways boil down to a failure of judgement.
So yeah I'm not entirely sure of how to deal with this... even my lauded and wonderful friends make me feel as if I am being judged, and the teacher I love so much is just the one who's the least bad about it.
I think this is because he tends to wax philosophical rather than dogmatic... tells me about what he thinks (in terms of his perceptions) rather than about how this or that book or creed or other dogmatic codification says things should be. When I do get lectured about dogma (and I do-- it's religion we're talking about, after all, and dogma is part of the game no matter who you are) once again it's through a lens of perception rather than one of dictums about what is right and wrong (or correct and not).
Even when I was a fairly screwed-up teenager I resented being told right from wrong because I was pretty sure I could figure it out on my own... and I REALLY resented being told I was just plain wrong... talk about invalidating.
Hearing "advice" as "just someone else's point of view" I think is much easier than hearing it as "advice from elders--" or worse, "advice from betters."
Even though we're not teenagers I still think we can be useful... It just might serve us well to remember that we need to approach it from a listening and discussion point of view and be ready to learn from 'the kids' as much as the other way around.
We're here to be someone to listen and provide other perspectives... not to train, initiate, hand down dogma, or any of those things. What we're talking about doing is providing a road sign on the path, someone to walk with for a little while... metaphors abound, but you get the picture-- this is about perspective in light of the fact that, if we get this off the ground, we will seldom get to have a personal relationship with these people.
We need to function in the capacity of guides... one job of clergy, but only one. This isn't a coven and we're not priests/priestesses here... Some of us wouldn't be clergy (yet) even if it were.
"Often groups created and facilitated by adults appear overwhelming and confronting, the gap in age often causes teens to reconsider and retreat."
Yeah, OK, I can agree with this statement... I remember being afraid to tell ANYONE what I was thinking because as a Solitary facing some strange experiences I feared disbelief, judgement, and condemnation (or mockery... they're not that far apart).
I don't know what TO do about it... there's a certain amount of feeling judged inherent in teaching even for the best student... because even a good teacher is still a judge in a way, just not a harsh or cruel one.
Maybe there's a better way to put this... teaching often comes down to making a judgement call.
One could also say that it's about teaching a little judgement... a lot of the really scary things (suicides, for example, assuming a Western view that says we shouldn't just let it happen) in some ways boil down to a failure of judgement.
So yeah I'm not entirely sure of how to deal with this... even my lauded and wonderful friends make me feel as if I am being judged, and the teacher I love so much is just the one who's the least bad about it.
I think this is because he tends to wax philosophical rather than dogmatic... tells me about what he thinks (in terms of his perceptions) rather than about how this or that book or creed or other dogmatic codification says things should be. When I do get lectured about dogma (and I do-- it's religion we're talking about, after all, and dogma is part of the game no matter who you are) once again it's through a lens of perception rather than one of dictums about what is right and wrong (or correct and not).
Even when I was a fairly screwed-up teenager I resented being told right from wrong because I was pretty sure I could figure it out on my own... and I REALLY resented being told I was just plain wrong... talk about invalidating.
Hearing "advice" as "just someone else's point of view" I think is much easier than hearing it as "advice from elders--" or worse, "advice from betters."
Even though we're not teenagers I still think we can be useful... It just might serve us well to remember that we need to approach it from a listening and discussion point of view and be ready to learn from 'the kids' as much as the other way around.
We're here to be someone to listen and provide other perspectives... not to train, initiate, hand down dogma, or any of those things. What we're talking about doing is providing a road sign on the path, someone to walk with for a little while... metaphors abound, but you get the picture-- this is about perspective in light of the fact that, if we get this off the ground, we will seldom get to have a personal relationship with these people.
We need to function in the capacity of guides... one job of clergy, but only one. This isn't a coven and we're not priests/priestesses here... Some of us wouldn't be clergy (yet) even if it were. <Self-conscious grin.>
Nope, not a coven, not at all. More like the Pagan Crisis Line in all probability... because we're not talking about being the ideal. If you ask me we're talking about being SOMETHING to people who are finding themselves in a much less than ideal situation... if the ideal were always a reality, there'd be no need for what we're talking about.
Be blessed.
--Ani
littleani7@hotmail.com
Re: From a Teen
Date: 2004-09-08 07:36 am (UTC)"Often groups created and facilitated by adults appear overwhelming and confronting, the gap in age often causes teens to reconsider and retreat."
Yeah, OK, I can agree with this statement... I remember being afraid to tell ANYONE what I was thinking because as a Solitary facing some strange experiences I feared disbelief, judgement, and condemnation (or mockery... they're not that far apart).
I don't know what TO do about it... there's a certain amount of feeling judged inherent in teaching even for the best student... because even a good teacher is still a judge in a way, just not a harsh or cruel one.
Maybe there's a better way to put this... teaching often comes down to making a judgement call.
One could also say that it's about teaching a little judgement... a lot of the really scary things (suicides, for example, assuming a Western view that says we shouldn't just let it happen) in some ways boil down to a failure of judgement.
So yeah I'm not entirely sure of how to deal with this... even my lauded and wonderful friends make me feel as if I am being judged, and the teacher I love so much is just the one who's the least bad about it.
I think this is because he tends to wax philosophical rather than dogmatic... tells me about what he thinks (in terms of his perceptions) rather than about how this or that book or creed or other dogmatic codification says things should be. When I do get lectured about dogma (and I do-- it's religion we're talking about, after all, and dogma is part of the game no matter who you are) once again it's through a lens of perception rather than one of dictums about what is right and wrong (or correct and not).
Even when I was a fairly screwed-up teenager I resented being told right from wrong because I was pretty sure I could figure it out on my own... and I REALLY resented being told I was just plain wrong... talk about invalidating.
Hearing "advice" as "just someone else's point of view" I think is much easier than hearing it as "advice from elders--" or worse, "advice from betters."
Even though we're not teenagers I still think we can be useful... It just might serve us well to remember that we need to approach it from a listening and discussion point of view and be ready to learn from 'the kids' as much as the other way around.
We're here to be someone to listen and provide other perspectives... not to train, initiate, hand down dogma, or any of those things. What we're talking about doing is providing a road sign on the path, someone to walk with for a little while... metaphors abound, but you get the picture-- this is about perspective in light of the fact that, if we get this off the ground, we will seldom get to have a personal relationship with these people.
We need to function in the capacity of guides... one job of clergy, but only one. This isn't a coven and we're not priests/priestesses here... Some of us wouldn't be clergy (yet) even if it were. (Self-conscious grin.)
Nope, not a coven, not at all. More like the Pagan Crisis Line in all probability... because we're not talking about being the ideal. If you ask me we're talking about being SOMETHING to people who are finding themselves in a much less than ideal situation... if the ideal were always a reality, there'd be no need for what we're talking about.
Be blessed.
--Ani
littleani7@hotmail.com