Being a Pagan Resource for Teen Seekers
Sep. 2nd, 2004 06:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunflowerpMany Pagans began their spiritual quests in their teens - yet the standard community attitude about teen seekers has for years been, "Too risky, let's not go there at all - besides, they're probably too young to be serious about it." Some of those who voice this attitude are those who came to Paganism later, and as teens were uninterested in spiritual matters; they measure teens by the standard of themselves as teens. Some figure, "I had to fumble through it with no guidance, so why shouldn't they?" Many envision hostility and lawsuits as the inevitable result of any interaction with teens. The supposition is that the kids can wait until they're old enough.
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
Trouble is, that's not how it works. The process of establishing individual identity, keynote of adolescent development, cannot be put on hold - and that includes the establishing of individual spiritual identity in youngens that are so inclined. The kids will keep seeking, they'll keep reading whatever material they have access to that relates to their path, and if they can't find good resources they'll settle for bad ones - they can't be stopped, any more than they can be stopped from growing up (which in fact is exactly what they are doing with their seeking).
So the bottom line is that we MUST "go there". If those of us who are ethical and reliable won't stick our necks out, the unreliable and unethical certainly will. Instead of envisioning worst-case scenarios of conflict with hostile parents and backing off altogether, we need to consider all the scenarios, not just the worst case; we need to consider what the actual risks are, in what situations, and what can be done to minimize them. Those of us who have already been acting as resources for younger seekers will have much to share about what works and what doesn't.
The common ground of this discussion is that we all believe that the whole Pagan community must serve as a resource for the young Pagans and seekers. We may disagree about many other things. Those other things may influence what we think should be done, and how. Debate, including heated debate, is encouraged - but keep in mind that we ultimately have a common goal; if we're preoccupied with "winning" an argument, it's not our debate opponent who ultimately loses, but Paganism's next generation.
Seems to me that's all the "ground rules" needed (very similar ones worked just fine when I was moderating discussion bases on the old dial-up BBSes - I like things loose). Feel free to ask questions if you have 'em.
Oh, and the name of my LiveJournal space? Pure coincidence, I assure you; when I was setting up a few weeks back, I picked it without much thought (beyond, "I can always change it later") from one of my favorite buttons.
Let the discussion begin!
Sunflower
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-03 09:25 pm (UTC)"I think teens who are interested in Paganism *do* want to learn, and very much so. But they will almost never come to you and ask specific questions unless they're real go-getters who love collecting and studying information... When you know nothing about Paganism, you also don't know what questions to ask. Therefore, an offer to answer questions gets no responses. You're asking them to begin, but beginning is what they're having trouble with."
There's a lot of truth in this. I remember when I began my studies feeling exactly this way and being very, very frustrated and upset by it.
The only question I knew how to ask was "Oh, no, I think I really got myself in trouble this time. What do I do now??"
To be fair I later found out that my inability to formulate questions was AT LEAST as frustrating for my informal teacher as it was for me... He felt a lot of guilt and a lot of worry that I was just someone else out to, you know, do amazing things with relatively little effort.
Sadly, yeah, these too are out there... but I don't believe they're as common as burned-out teachers assume.
NOW FOR THE BIG PROBLEM...
I'm not sure what to do about it either... my friends and I have talked a little about it as relevant to my progress in my own education. So far the conclusion we seem to be circling is that it was a phase I had to go through, maybe a test of dedication of sorts... I've been the main one proposing that view but fact is I know that it may be true or may not.
When I went through it I thought it meant I was just stupid or that I had a crummy teacher. I realize now that neither of those things were the case but instead it's a common situation.
WE NEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS. How we've approached it in the past, both from a student's and a teacher's point of view. What has succeeded and failed.
Wouldn't hurt to go ahead and take the risk of blue-skying some new ideas, either. I'm beginning to think that realistic plans evolve out of unrealistic ideas that get kicked around a bit.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I think I'm going to bring it up to my friends at breakfast tomorrow and see what they have to say. They're not outreach types either, preferring to wait until work comes to them. But they're actually pretty smart so I think I'll bring some work to the table and post results.
Be blessed.
--Ani
littleani7@hotmail.com