I'm actually not sure about this issue. I know two men whose girlfriends assured them that they were on birth control and would get an abortion if it failed, then promptly presented the guys with a blue stick and a sudden conversion to pro-life. Now the guys have to choose between unplanned marriage or a serious financial burden.
Both of the girls were teenagers and their intentions, as far as I could tell, were to secure marriage and thus Twu Wuv.
I don't know an entirely good solution though. Obviously you can't allow men to dictate whether or not women abort or give up the pregnancy. (On the flip side, I also know some men who've been devastated by their girlfriends having abortions--and going "tough noogies sperm donor, you don't own her" is just not the answer I can give a close friend who's grieving because he thought he would be a father.) And allowing men to skip out entirely on responsibility for their offspring leaves single moms in the lurch. But the idea of someone being forced to be a father doesn't make me happy either.
Dammit. Men and women can both be horrifyingly dishonest in this arena. The only good solution is for both partners to participate in birth control, but when that doesn't happen... I just don't know.
No, a pregnant woman doesn't need a man, but she kinda does need (or at least massively benefit from) the time and money contributions of a second person.
Argh. The fundamental problem is that babies only grow in women. I just can't think of a pat and equitable solution under that constraint.
Sorry this comment doesn't make sense; I am not at all sure what type of feminist I am or what my opinions are on all issues.
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thinking aloud
Date: 2008-04-16 10:05 am (UTC)Both of the girls were teenagers and their intentions, as far as I could tell, were to secure marriage and thus Twu Wuv.
I don't know an entirely good solution though. Obviously you can't allow men to dictate whether or not women abort or give up the pregnancy. (On the flip side, I also know some men who've been devastated by their girlfriends having abortions--and going "tough noogies sperm donor, you don't own her" is just not the answer I can give a close friend who's grieving because he thought he would be a father.) And allowing men to skip out entirely on responsibility for their offspring leaves single moms in the lurch. But the idea of someone being forced to be a father doesn't make me happy either.
Dammit. Men and women can both be horrifyingly dishonest in this arena. The only good solution is for both partners to participate in birth control, but when that doesn't happen... I just don't know.
No, a pregnant woman doesn't need a man, but she kinda does need (or at least massively benefit from) the time and money contributions of a second person.
Argh. The fundamental problem is that babies only grow in women. I just can't think of a pat and equitable solution under that constraint.
Sorry this comment doesn't make sense; I am not at all sure what type of feminist I am or what my opinions are on all issues.